I was shocked to read in Telegraph that pockets of Provence are over-run by giant scorpions, beetles, squabbling hornets, stinging centipedes, allergy caterpillars and the like. Piffle I say, it's a land of lavender, olive oil and figs.
"Twice we've been woken by scorpions crawling over our legs under the covers. The trouble is that, like most countryside dwellings alongside the Mediterranean, it's not just the scorpions you have to watch, it's a whole host of supersized arachnids and unpleasantly shaped bugs that can sting, bite, grip, plague and scare you until you agree that it's their house, too.... At one point last summer we had scolopendra in the roof terrace, wasps stinging people beside the pool, hornets fighting in the fig tree, a giant wasp spider shaking his web in the lavender, a foot-long green lizard hiding behind the back door and a snake hissing from the bay tree, as well as the squadrons of scorpions and black indescribables in the garage. Still want to move to Provence?"
Maybe the writer was an insect-gaoler in a previous life? OK, I confess, there are one or two bugs but they're terribly pleasant, especially the crickets who are soooo playful the children catch them bare-handed.
